Vintage Erotica: Terracotta vase in the form of a phallus

Today's erotic artwork comes from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. This piece isn't currently on display in the museum, but there's a lovely picture in the online catalogue.

The ancient Greeks made plenty of sculptural vases. This piece was probably made in a workshop in Rhodes around 550–500 B.C. It would have been used to store perfumed oils.

This particular vase was recently used in a political piece by art critic Jerry Saltz, who protested a recent art censorship by pointing out that shocking art is by no means a modern invention. It was the perfect piece choose for the Open Letter to Republicans of the 111th Congress; the vase is both a stunning work of art and an unusually accurate rendering of the male organ.

Image and credits are after the jump. It's not safe for work unless you're a classicist.

Putting on the marketing hat

Visitors to Jess Fink's incredible Chester 5000 comic may notice something interesting on the left side of the page: a link to my story! When I started looking into advertising, one of the things I was most excited about was the prospect of supporting artists whose work I've read and loved. If you like things that are sexy, you'll love Chester 5000. If you hate things that are sexy, get the hell off my site.

Bad Sex Award

This year's Bad Sex Award has been announce. I'm a bit surprised by the choice--I thought the sex scene in question was supposed to be off-putting and uncomfortable to read--but there are so many fantastically weird sentences to quote. A select few:

"How long was he going to go on with the erotic massage and general body worship without getting to her quim?"

"...he began a careful prodding of her perineum..."

"...she smelled her breast on his breath, which was otherwise piquant with saliva..."

"...half of his face, nearly, was activated for her pleasure..."

"These sorts of gyrations and five-sense choreographies, with variations on Ed's main themes, played out episodically between 10 p.m. and 10 a.m."

The full text of the award-winning scene can be found here. As an erotica writer, I enjoy reading bad sex scenes occasionally, if only to learn what not do to.

Sexy Patent: Multifacet sexual aid

Patent number: 6547717 Inventors: John P. Green, Jeffery Sigler

I can’t figure out what this is supposed to be. Some kind of sex toy for mollusks? A robot penis?

From the description: “A couple connector is also used to couple a plurality of different prosthetic phallic elements as either a convex or concave connection to the spring-loaded mechanism.”

Well, obviously.

(Pictures are after the jump because they're NSFW if you're a robot)

Free things!

In the spirit of the season, I'm giving away some presents for readers. If you want to own a permanent digital copy The Tawse & Hard Body: Two Erotic Stories for free, now is your chance.
Just send me a message at persephonerouet@gmail.com with the email address you'd like the story sent to. Prizes will be awarded via Amazon. I know that many people don’t have a Kindle, so I’ll also include directions on how to open the file on a computer or smart phone.

Only first five people to email me will get a copy for free, so if you want these two sexy stories as a holiday present you should act fast. I won't share your email address with anybody; I'll delete any emails in my inbox as soon as I've sent out the digital copy.

Perfectionism, or How to Compliment Erotica

I’m running behind schedule on the stories I wanted to finish. Apparently, working on four stories at the same time means that none of them get done on the original deadline. Who knew?

Part of what’s throwing me off is that in every story I start, I write up until the sex scene and stall out. That’s a major handicap for an erotica writer. It’s also the reason I decided to get this project going in the first place. I wanted to challenge myself as a writer, to push myself past my comfort zone, and I’ve definitely succeeded on that front. Unfortunately, my comfort zone was a great place to write. Now I’m rebuilding my confidence from the ground up, and it isn’t a pretty process.

See, I’ve been sitting through critique sessions and writing workshops and so on since high school. I can bang out a decent piece of exposition or a character profile or an action scene in no time at all; I have years of experience on that front. I never turned in erotica as a class assignment (I wasn’t allowed to, and even if I was, it would have been in poor taste). This makes sex scenes seem more intimidating to write than they actually are.

Strangely, some of the best compliments I’ve ever received have come from fans who want to talk about their boners. I appreciate the good analysis and constructive criticism from higher-minded folks, but really, I’m trying to get my readers off. There’s something charming and deeply flattering in knowing that I’ve succeeded on that front.

Vintage Erotica: Petroglyph of a Vulva

I abandoned my planned vintage erotica series in frustration because I couldn't find the picture I wanted anywhere. Thanks to the mighty Wikipedia, I finally tracked it (or a remarkably similar engraving) down.

I first saw this design in a natural history museum, where it was labeled as "either a vulva or a hoofprint." This particular vulva currently residents in the French Musée des antiquités nationales. I'm having a hard time tracking down the exact age of this particular carving. I can tell you that this particular picture is prehistoric, but I can't find the exact estimated time period.

If you like what you see here, you'll be happy to know that vulva-form petroglyphs are a reoccuring theme across the globe. Humans just love drawing vulvas--almost as much as we love drawing dicks.

Picture is after the jump. It's probably safe for work unless your boss really hates rocks. Once again, my thanks to Wikimedia Commons.