Better get that ChaCha looked at

When you're having vaginal lubrication issues, who better to ask than Dr. ChaCha?

My pussy is so dry

Is that good or bad for you?

I wish my pussy were wet

I would suggest you go wipe it and then take a shower so it doesn't stink. Thanks for using ChaCha!

Should I use lotion?

Butter would be better for lubrication but if it really is stuck you should probably visit the ER! ChaCha on!

Do you think I have an infection?

Most ear infections clear up on their own in a couple of weeks. It is normal to have lingering pain for a few days. Call your Dr.

Was it the butter?

Your answer is 1 | noun | an edible emulsion of fat globules made by churning milk or cream; for cooking and table use 2 | noun | a fighter who strikes the opponent with his head 3 | verb | spread butter on. Src: Wolfram|Alpha

I need a new doctor

Acoma Canoncito Laguna Hospital Albuquerque, NM 87101 (505) 831-6300 . ChaCha again!

ChaCha on the beach

Everyone's favorite sex advice site takes a dark turn when I come out to ChaCha.

There's a bit of a lag between the times I search for these answers and the times I post them on the blog. Hopefully, some of the crazier results have been corrected by now.

I think I'm gay

Well, some guys think they might be gay, when they are in fact not. What makes you think you are? Thanks for ChaCha'ing, ask away.

It's not just a phase, ChaCha. This is who I am.

I want to have sex with other men

When you try having sex on the beach make sure you have a blanket or a couple towels to lay down to prevent getting sand all over you and then have sex using any of your fave positions! Having the sun on your skin or the stars over you, or water lapping against both of you can be very stimulating. Watch out for people passing by tho! ChaCha on!

I'm glad you found it in your heart to support me, ChaCha. 

How can I have anal sex on a beach?

Having anal sex is never safe because it can cause STD's such as aids. ChaCha!

You tricked me, ChaCha!

I had anal sex already

Sex is pretty great, isn't it? Stay safe and keep doing the ChaCha!

You heartless bastard.

How long have I got left to live?

This is an indeterminate thing. Regardless, you should live your life as if tomorrow is the day you might die. ChaCha!

Uh oh. I better get my affairs in order. Can I at least look forward to a nice afterlife?

Are gay people going to hell?

Depending on personal beliefs, Gay people may or may not be doomed to hell. ChaCha!

:(

Go ChaCha yourself

An innocent conversation with ChaCha takes an unexpectedly agricultural turn. On the internet, the men are men and the sheep are nervous.

Where can I find porn?

There are many places to find porn, such as the internet, or an adult video store.

Ok, a pretty decent answer to the first question any search engine will ever receive.

Should I star in porn?

If you're interested in that sort of thing, I say go for it, but know that if you're male, it's very hard to get into the business

We continue in the same vein. ChaCha knows I want to follow my heart, but it doesn't want me to get my hopes up.

Should I purchase porn?

It's a really good work-out dvd, I personally use it, along with CytoGainer. I have gained 17 pounds of lean muscle in 2 weeks.

All in your right arm, amiright?

Should I make porn?

No, you should absolutely not make your own pornographic material including animals, as this would be against the law. Zoosexuality (sexual relations with animals) is a misdemeanor in CA and a felony in many other states. ChaCha again soon!

I... but... why would you just leap to the conclusion that I'm making bestiality porn, ChaCha?

Should I give my girlfriend porn?

I would suggest that you only give your girlfriend a goat if she can take care of it. There are a number of illnesses that can affect a goat both in chronic and curable form. ChaCha!

You are one freaky son of a bitch, ChaCha. Maybe if I can find some nasty porn for you, you'll shut up about making goat porn with my girlfriend.

Where can I find porn with goats?

You can find baby goats at your local petting zoo! Just make sure to wash your hands after petting them! ChaCha for now!

BABY goats?!?!

ChaCha on the wild side

Here's another set of wilderness survival tips from ChaCha, the world's hardiest woodsman.

Should I have sex with a tree?

The magic 8 ball says "yes". Remember to use protection! There is no telling where that tree has been! ChaCha!

It's been right here in this forest, ChaCha. It's a tree. It's not going anywhere.

 

Should I have sex with an eagle?

The oracle says yes, you should have sex with Izzy. ChaCha!

I'm surprised you already knew her name, ChaCha. Does this eagle get around? Maybe I should stick with the tree.

Should I have sex with a deer?

What kind of deer? White tail or mule? In either case, probably not. Thanks for using ChaCha!

If it's a roe deer, go crazy. Everyone knows those little cloven-footed minxes are wild in the sack.

Should I have sex with a bear?

If you are both mature enough to handle the consequences of your actions, and are consenting adults of legal age, by all means, go for it! ChaCha!

I'm mature enough to handle a mauling, but I don't think I'll be able to live with myself if he doesn't call me afterwards.

Should I have sex with a hole in the ground?

It is unlikely having sex with a hole is illegal, unless you do it somewhere public or on another's property. ChaCha for now!

If the pile of dirt's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'

ChaCha safely

Once again, we explore the delightful insanity that is ChaCha, the world's wisest sex therapist.

Can I fuck my boyfriend?

If you are of age in your state to engage in sexual activities, then use protection. Maybe use lady-like language, too. ChaCha.

ChaCha does not like dirty talk.

Can I fuck a woman?

Talk about it with your partner-to-be well before hand and know that you are both sure. If there are any doubts, stop here...

ChaCha plays it safe.

Can I fuck a man?

My husband wouldn't be to happy if he saw me answering lewd questions from you. Maybe we should start over. Do you have another Q?

ChaCha is a prudish woman.

Can I fuck myself?

Not sure that's what you are looking for, bud. I'm a 38 yo truck drivin' man that likes women. Do the ChaCha.

ChaCha is... also a man who likes women?

Can I fuck you?

You want to have sex and you have never seen me. Heck you don't even know if I'm a girl or guy. Needless to say, i am not interested. Ask another question!

ChaCha is not interested in my sweet lovin'. I guess I'll have to find out how to get my needs met without a partner.

Can I fuck a cucumber?

Yes, you can masturbate with a cucumber, also you can use a banana. Thanks for using ChaCha!!

ChaCha displays an unexpectedly progressive streak.

Can I fuck a melon?

Some plants may grow fine in watermelon. Some plants may have difficulty. I would do your research into what plant you are trying to grow and then find out. Your answer in the end is yes you can defiantly grow some plants in a watermelon.

ChaCha is maybe a little uninformed about human anatomy?

Can I fuck my wife?

The definition of "skull f---" is (verb) a derogatory term used to describe the violent insertion of the penis into the mouth. In order to perform this with your wife without consequences of jail, I suggest your ask her permission. ChaCha!

CHACHA NO

Don't break my heart, ChaCha

I attempted to seduce ChaCha, the world's sexiest hive-mind. All of my answers are copied straight from the site. They may change over time as moderators notice some of the less appropriate selections.

Hey baby

ChaCha is doing very, very good. Thank you for asking! Now let me ask you something, do you have anymore questions for us! I hope you know that we're here all day and night for you!

What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?

I'm working of course! Do you have anything else you would like help with? -ChaCha

Are you a working girl?

No. I work from a home office. There is no one working beside me this evening. Do the ChaCha!

Are you all alone?

ChaCha guides, Expeditor and Transcribers get to work right from their homes. Thank you for asking ChaCha!

What's your favorite naughty thing to do?

Personally, my favorite thing to do at night is get into pj's and relax. After a hard day, relaxing is the best feeling. And also doing ChaCha!

Yeah baby, how do you like to relax?

Try cuddling your baby and holding your baby close to you. It could be that all your baby wants is to know you are there. (MORE?)

How should we cuddle?

You could cuddle in bed hugging and watching movies together! Anything else? ChaCha!

I'm getting so hot

I will take your word for it. Thanks for using ChaCha!

Let's get naked

That sounds great! You get comfortable, and I'm heading to bed soon! ChaCha is here for you 24/7! ChaCha again soon!

You get me so wet

"It's okay for us to go slow." "I'm going to take these off." "You make me think dirty thoughts."

I think I love you

I wish that I could say the same but I can't

ChaCha with me

This is yet another post about ChaCha, the internet's best relationship advisor.

Should I have sex with God?

Having sex with a janitor should not be a big issue. just practice safe sex, always.

That's an interesting theological viewpoint, ChaCha.

Should I have sex with Satan?

My advice is this: wait as long as you can. Sex complicates things, but it is very enjoyable for those who have found a safe relationship. Mostly it depends on age. When the time is right you will know. ChaCha!

I see why I should take this relationship slowly, ChaCha. After all, I'm 22 and he is older than creation. Just think how awkward meeting the parents would be!

Should I have sex with an angel?

If Melissa and Angel want to have sex, sure, why not? Sex can be fun if both partners are willing and want to do it.

I don't know what religion is all about the hot bisexual angels, but I'd like a membership in that church ASAP.

Should I have sex with a demon?

It's hard to say if you should have sex with Rush or not. Only the two of you know what is right. ChaCha Again!

I KNEW IT

ChaCha til you're sore

I can't get enough of ChaCha, the world's derpiest search engine and greatest relationship advisor. Answers have been reproduced in all their glory, typos included.

Should I have sex with the dalai lama?

No. The Dalai Lama chose a life of celibacy. He admits that although "something" is missing, one can have a life with "more independence, more freedom" without sex.

Tenzin Gyatso is pretty foxy for a religious leader, but I guess I'll have to go without.

Should I have sex with the pope?

Only have sex with someone that will respect yo and who doesnt have an STD that can hurt you. ChaCha!

Is there something you know about Benedict XVI that you aren't telling us, ChaCha?

Should I have sex with my rabbi?

You should do whatever makes you happy!

L'Chaim!