Best sex toys: Little Death Ray

So I love steampunk. It's an eye-catching aesthetic, perfect for women who love to dress up but don't know shit about fashion trends. The Victorian era was a long and strange one, full of excitement and invention and oppression and inequality; it's a great backdrop to comedy and drama alike. And all those whalebone corsets and indecent ankles make for for really, really sexy stories and pictures.

I've been to many a steampunk rummage sale and considered buying several purely decorative ray guns, so imagine how delighted I was to discover that these rayguns do something extra special. Seriously, I want one. Or two. Or twenty (just in case I want to invite a few close friends over for a test of, ahem, marksmanship).

Weirdest sex toys: Head O State

As per government regulations (Political Wordplay Act of '69, section 34, "Pun regulation on sexual novelty items"), I am not permitted to mention the Obama dildo without coming up with at least three puns about it. I hearby submit to you the following acts of tortured wordplay:

1) Standing up for America

2) The best way to get a head in the polls

3) Remember to douche thoroughly before using to avoid getting Santorum in your primaries.

ChaCha til you're sore

I can't get enough of ChaCha, the world's derpiest search engine and greatest relationship advisor. Answers have been reproduced in all their glory, typos included.

Should I have sex with the dalai lama?

No. The Dalai Lama chose a life of celibacy. He admits that although "something" is missing, one can have a life with "more independence, more freedom" without sex.

Tenzin Gyatso is pretty foxy for a religious leader, but I guess I'll have to go without.

Should I have sex with the pope?

Only have sex with someone that will respect yo and who doesnt have an STD that can hurt you. ChaCha!

Is there something you know about Benedict XVI that you aren't telling us, ChaCha?

Should I have sex with my rabbi?

You should do whatever makes you happy!

L'Chaim!