Vintage Erotica: Terracotta vase in the form of a phallus

Today's erotic artwork comes from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. This piece isn't currently on display in the museum, but there's a lovely picture in the online catalogue.

The ancient Greeks made plenty of sculptural vases. This piece was probably made in a workshop in Rhodes around 550–500 B.C. It would have been used to store perfumed oils.

This particular vase was recently used in a political piece by art critic Jerry Saltz, who protested a recent art censorship by pointing out that shocking art is by no means a modern invention. It was the perfect piece choose for the Open Letter to Republicans of the 111th Congress; the vase is both a stunning work of art and an unusually accurate rendering of the male organ.

Image and credits are after the jump. It's not safe for work unless you're a classicist.

Putting on the marketing hat

Visitors to Jess Fink's incredible Chester 5000 comic may notice something interesting on the left side of the page: a link to my story! When I started looking into advertising, one of the things I was most excited about was the prospect of supporting artists whose work I've read and loved. If you like things that are sexy, you'll love Chester 5000. If you hate things that are sexy, get the hell off my site.

Bad Sex Award

This year's Bad Sex Award has been announce. I'm a bit surprised by the choice--I thought the sex scene in question was supposed to be off-putting and uncomfortable to read--but there are so many fantastically weird sentences to quote. A select few:

"How long was he going to go on with the erotic massage and general body worship without getting to her quim?"

"...he began a careful prodding of her perineum..."

"...she smelled her breast on his breath, which was otherwise piquant with saliva..."

"...half of his face, nearly, was activated for her pleasure..."

"These sorts of gyrations and five-sense choreographies, with variations on Ed's main themes, played out episodically between 10 p.m. and 10 a.m."

The full text of the award-winning scene can be found here. As an erotica writer, I enjoy reading bad sex scenes occasionally, if only to learn what not do to.

Sexy Patent: Multifacet sexual aid

Patent number: 6547717 Inventors: John P. Green, Jeffery Sigler

I can’t figure out what this is supposed to be. Some kind of sex toy for mollusks? A robot penis?

From the description: “A couple connector is also used to couple a plurality of different prosthetic phallic elements as either a convex or concave connection to the spring-loaded mechanism.”

Well, obviously.

(Pictures are after the jump because they're NSFW if you're a robot)

Free things!

In the spirit of the season, I'm giving away some presents for readers. If you want to own a permanent digital copy The Tawse & Hard Body: Two Erotic Stories for free, now is your chance.
Just send me a message at persephonerouet@gmail.com with the email address you'd like the story sent to. Prizes will be awarded via Amazon. I know that many people don’t have a Kindle, so I’ll also include directions on how to open the file on a computer or smart phone.

Only first five people to email me will get a copy for free, so if you want these two sexy stories as a holiday present you should act fast. I won't share your email address with anybody; I'll delete any emails in my inbox as soon as I've sent out the digital copy.

Perfectionism, or How to Compliment Erotica

I’m running behind schedule on the stories I wanted to finish. Apparently, working on four stories at the same time means that none of them get done on the original deadline. Who knew?

Part of what’s throwing me off is that in every story I start, I write up until the sex scene and stall out. That’s a major handicap for an erotica writer. It’s also the reason I decided to get this project going in the first place. I wanted to challenge myself as a writer, to push myself past my comfort zone, and I’ve definitely succeeded on that front. Unfortunately, my comfort zone was a great place to write. Now I’m rebuilding my confidence from the ground up, and it isn’t a pretty process.

See, I’ve been sitting through critique sessions and writing workshops and so on since high school. I can bang out a decent piece of exposition or a character profile or an action scene in no time at all; I have years of experience on that front. I never turned in erotica as a class assignment (I wasn’t allowed to, and even if I was, it would have been in poor taste). This makes sex scenes seem more intimidating to write than they actually are.

Strangely, some of the best compliments I’ve ever received have come from fans who want to talk about their boners. I appreciate the good analysis and constructive criticism from higher-minded folks, but really, I’m trying to get my readers off. There’s something charming and deeply flattering in knowing that I’ve succeeded on that front.

Vintage Erotica: Petroglyph of a Vulva

I abandoned my planned vintage erotica series in frustration because I couldn't find the picture I wanted anywhere. Thanks to the mighty Wikipedia, I finally tracked it (or a remarkably similar engraving) down.

I first saw this design in a natural history museum, where it was labeled as "either a vulva or a hoofprint." This particular vulva currently residents in the French Musée des antiquités nationales. I'm having a hard time tracking down the exact age of this particular carving. I can tell you that this particular picture is prehistoric, but I can't find the exact estimated time period.

If you like what you see here, you'll be happy to know that vulva-form petroglyphs are a reoccuring theme across the globe. Humans just love drawing vulvas--almost as much as we love drawing dicks.

Picture is after the jump. It's probably safe for work unless your boss really hates rocks. Once again, my thanks to Wikimedia Commons.

Formatting woes

If you're waiting to buy my stories in the Sony, Kobo, Deisel or eBooks Eros stores, you're going to have to wait a little longer. After a week of waiting, Smashwords sent my manuscript back with a request for modification. It's a small change (moving the copyright page from the back of the document to the front), but I'm at the bottom of the list again.
I'll give everyone a heads-up when the stories make it into new stores. I suspect that most of my readers are using the Kindle, Nook or a phone app anyway, but it doesn't hurt to have my book available in more stores.

Under the Sea (of terrible costumes)

Sexy shark:

Sexy sea turtle:

Sexy dolphin:

Sexy clownfish:

Bad author

I spent so much time devising new ways to send traffic to this blog that I completely neglected the most important part of this endeavor: convincing people to read my published stories. Oops!
My sexy schoolgirl stories are available for just about any device. I'm juggling three new stories, one m/f/f and two m/m, that should be out in the near future. Because work has slowed down on my usual freelancing gig, I have more time to spend on erotica.

Extra cash for Smashwords affiliates

I've "juiced" my affiliate earnings on Smashwords. This means that Smashwords Affiliates (or anyone with a Smashwords account) can get 20% of the list price instead of the standard 11% by linking to my sexy schoolgirl stories. I take a slightly smaller cut on these purchases, but it's worth it to introduce my stories to a larger audience.

If you have a review site and you make some of your money through affiliate programs, that's something to keep in mind. I'd be happy to send reviewers a free copy; just email me at persephonerouet@gmail.com and let me know which format you need.

There I am!

I hit a minor personal milestone on Amazon: my schoolgirl stories have started showing up under other authors' books. Some of my lovely customers went on to purchase similar stories about spanking, so my work is starting to show up under other authors' stories. It's fairly low in the lists at the moment (I found this screen capture on page 12 of 17 of The Riding Academy - Strict Lessons for Teresa), but I'm hoping to increase my ranking over time.
This feature is becoming one of my favorite parts of Amazon. Self-published writers make a lot of their sales by having their work mentioned on the same page as an established author. I know I make the majority of my Kindle purchases by starting at a favorite author's page and following the links until I find something that strikes my fancy.

So, if you like my work, the nicest thing you can do is to keep buying similar stories from different authors. I may even start reviewing some of my favorite spanking stories* on this blog, because it helps me when similar authors make sales.

* My page don't seem to be linking to any menage a trois stories yet, even though that's a major feature of "Hard Body." Hmm, I guess that tells me which story my readers liked more...

Sexy Patent: SEX TOY

So I just stumbled across Google Patents. There’s something oddly fascinating about really weird patents. Even the most obvious features are diagramed and labeled out in dubiously scientific terms. The minimalist diagrams are surprisingly eye-catching. And if you type in enough keywords and scroll through enough pages, you can find something so mind-bogglingly odd that you just have to share it with everyone you know.

The truly beautiful thing about patents is that each and every one of them was created by someone who thought this device had worth. Some inventor sketched and labeled and filled out forms and thought, yes, this is a valuable contribution to human ingenuity, and I need to patent it right away before someone else steals my idea.

(Picture and description are after the jump because they're not safe for work, unless you work in the US Patent Office)

America

I went looking for an alternative to the sexy fruit cup costume and ended up with this sexy hamburger dress. Unlike the other costumes on here, it's actually handmade by an artist, which is actually pretty awesome.

New publisher: Smashwords

My schoolgirl stories are now avaible on Smashwords. I spent a while wrangling with the site when the stories first came out, but they're up for good now. You may have to turn off the Adult Content Filter in order to find me.

You can now read these stories online without having an e-reader or dealing with the apps that come with Amazon and Barnes & Noble. You can also download my work as a PDF, RTF or plain text file (plus some other unusual formats like PDB and LRF).

Some of my potential readers complained that the sample that was available on the Kindle and Nook wasn't long enough. I've increased the sample size on Smashwords to give readers a more titilating section.

Of course, any new publishing experience is going to come with a few bugs. Please let me know if you spot any typos or formatting errors.

Happy reading!

Goodreads

My favorite part of Netflix is the rating system's ability to churn up indie, old or little-know movies based on your ratings. So of course I've become a huge fan of Goodreads, a social networking site based around books. Its rating system is similar to the Netflix algorithm; once you rate enough books, you get suggestions based on user data. I’ve bought several delightful books already by following the site’s suggestions.

I even set up an author page there. Feel free to friend me!

Website updates

I spent some time fiddling with the text of my author website. There's more information up there about the work I've been doing and where I can be found online.

I'm not a web designer by any stretch of the imagination, so any helpful comments/gentle critiques/foaming rants would be appreciated.

A Nifty App

Oh hey, look at this nifty IndieBound App. My work isn't listed on IndieBound, but I'm actually a huge fan of independent bookstores as well as major distributers like Amazon and Barnes and Noble. I'll probably have to wait for a book deal with an established press to get listed on IndieBound.

If you're looking for my stories, you'll need to go to the Amazon or Barnes & Noble stores. Fortunately, both of those places also have PC and smart phone apps. I'm hearing good things about Amazon's cloud reader; maybe I'll give it a try in a compatible browser.

FACT

I know I'm about five years too late to jump on the Twilight-hate bandwagon*, but I can't stop giggling** over this website.

Fact: Quileute people do not turn into wolves

Did anyone actually think that? I mean, really?

* Ok, so I don't actually hate Twilight with a firey passion or anything. I just missed the target age range for the books; Harry Potter was the Big Thing when I was in high school, with the much-hyped release of the last book happening just at the end of my senior year. I never saw the appeal of sparkly vampires but I'm not prepared to trash them either. There's a longer post in me about what Twilight meant to teenage girls and why that sparkly Adonis vampire appeal is thinking about as a writer, but that rambling will have to wait for another day.

** Using a real native tribe for a dubious charicature isn't funny, but I just can't stop thinking about the kind of person who would ask someone if they had "magical wolf genes of 24 chromosomal pairs." Seriously?

Wokka Wokka

It's sexy Pac-Man.

Yes, that's a ghost in her vagina. The costume designers could have gone with a cherry (actually in the game, sort of relates to lady-bits) but no, they went with the thing that kills you.

Look at those melons

Halloween is over, but I can't stop looking at all these delightfully crazy costumes. Here's a sexy fruit cup:

Yay

I'm spending the day writing SEO articles for adult toy companies. I love my life.

This has been an excellent opportunity to research some toys I didn't know much about. Maybe some of them will show up in my next set of stories...

Nifty

I love this anatomy of a pinup by Annie Sprinkle. Since I am both horribly unphotogenic and a lousy photographer, it's fascinating to see the kind of work that goes into getting a great picture.

Vintage erotica of the week: Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife

Yeah, it’s an actual weekly feature! With thousands of years of recorded human history to choose from, I probably won’t be running out of material any time soon.
Someday soon, I’m going to write up a history of tentacle porn, which is actually a product of a very interesting period of Japanese and American history. For now, I’ll leave you with the most famous erotic tentacle image in the world. Although it's a well-known image, it may violate my blog host's content policy, so I'm going to link to its NSFW wikimedia content page.

This woodblock print is by Hokusai, who's better known for his Views of Mount Fuji series (including The Great Wave off Kanagawa). It’s arguably not the first piece of tentacle erotica in Japanese art, but it’s usually cited as a precursor to modern tentacle porn. You can read more about the print’s history here.

It's time for sexy costumes!

I love Halloween. I love the socially acceptable excuse to get drunk and eat candy all night. I love scary movies and spooky decorations. Most importantly, I love sexy Halloween costumes--not the obvious ones that are clearly made to be titillating, but the ones that make you go, "Who the fuck came up with that idea? Who approved it? Who actually allowed this monstrosity to be made?"

Join me in celebrating 2012's best boner-killers. This is only a partial list; chronicling every terrible skin-baring costume on the internet would be a herculean task.

 

 Oh yeah, it's a sexy memento mori! This is probably the least inappropriate item on the list. It's sorta kinda related to Halloween, even though her bones stop at the shoulders and knee joints for no particular reason.

Hey kids, did you ever watch Sesame Street? Now, you can celebrate your PBS-centric childhood with a horrifying sexy Big Bird costume. It's the candy-pink platform shoes that really take this costume from "possible misunderstanding" to "intentionally horrifying." The weirdest part? It's not the only sexy Big Bird costume available.

I guess the idea of sexy candy makes some sense; at least it's no weirder than the sexy bumblebee/ladybug costumes that are everywhere these days. What really cracks me up about this costume is that it's a tootsie roll, and everyone knows that brownish pieces of foul-tasting crud that get stuck in your teeth are the least sexy thing ever.

 I don't really understand the furry thing, but if it gets you hot and bothered I suppose that's none of my business. Still, this is listed as a sexy chinchilla costume. Sexy. Chinchilla. Costume. You know, the little furball in an elementary school classroom, but sexy. This has obviously been mass produced, so clearly someone thought that sexy chinchillas would be all the rage this year.

Yeah, it's sexy Chewbacca. Technically, it's a "Sci-Fi Furry Costume," but the same page has links to some fairly obvious knockoff Storm Trooper and Darth Vader costumes. This would actually be a hilarious outfit to wear with the right crowd, but you would have to be very self-assured and very drunk to pull it off.

Where does erotica sell better?

Fair warning: this is going to be a navel-gazing post about the vagaries of e-publishing on different sites. Folks who are just here for the erotica will not find this terribly gripping.
 

I’ve noticed something weird about my sales on the two sites I’ve been using: I’m selling about twice as many copies on the Nook than the Kindle. Of course, “twice as many” is only a matter of a few extra sales. This month, I’ve had fifteen sales on Barnes & Noble compared to seven on Amazon.

I’ve been puzzling over this discrepancy because I thought Amazon was the more commonly used service. Since authors guards their Amazon rankings jealously, I’d like to figure out why I’m falling behind there. Here are a few reasons why I might be selling better on the Nook:

More Competition

Amazon’s direct publishing system is so easy to use that many self-published authors ONLY put their work up there. The Nook’s system isn’t exactly difficult, but it’s probably not anyone’s first publishing choice. There may just be more titles floating around in Amazon’s erotica section for my little stories to compete with.

I’ve also notice that the Nook PubIt! content policy is more conservative when it comes to erotica, forbidding “hard-core material that depicts graphic or explicit sexual acts.” Amazon’s comparatively liberal policy forbids “offensive depictions of graphic sexual acts.” That extra word, offensive, gives writers and editors a fair amount of leeway in deciding what’s acceptable. While Barnes & Noble does have an erotica section on its website, it may be scaring other erotica writers away with its ban on “explicit” sex.

That’s not to say Amazon never censors the erotica section. Its content policy just makes it look a bit more inviting to erotica writers.

Better Apps

The Barnes & Noble site has a very visible drop-down menu right at the top of the page to let shoppers know that they can read an ebook without owning a Nook. Amazon has almost exactly the same apps for PC, Macintosh, Android, Apple and so forth, but the link is further down the page on the right hand side. Since plenty of my potential readers don’t have e-readers, the ones who go straight to Amazon might be missing the link. For anyone who’s interested in the various apps, I wrote a post about what’s available a little while ago.

Different Devices

It’s a long shot, but there could be something about Barnes & Noble’s device lineup that’s attracting a disproportionate number of erotica readers. The tablet-like Nook Color certainly would be more attractive for people who planned to view a lot of porn on their ereaders. If that’s the case, the Amazon Fire should level the smutty playing field soon.

Different Audiences

The Amazon crowd has a large author forum to sift through, so they might be more discerning readers. Barnes & Noble has a forum as well, but it’s not as well known. Amazon readers may be relying on word of mouth (or keyboard) to decide on new purchases, and they have more sources of information to choose from. I haven’t spent much time at all on the Amazon forums, so my next step as an author will definitely involve some self promotion over there.

Freelancing versus E-Publishing

Now that I’ve dipped my toes into the waters of both freelancing and e-publishing, I think I’m qualified to give my barely informed opinion about the differences between the two. I’ve been freelancing for a content mill, writing SEO articles (keyword-stuffed pieces of text that will help bump a site up to the front page of a Google search) and miscellaneous pieces of text for anyone who wants to pay me five bucks. I’ve also released one ebook, which has been sitting around at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Writing the ebook was a hell of a lot more fun, but definitely more taxing. I spent a lot of time agonizing over each turn of phrase. When you’re freelancing, if you spend your time crafting deathless prose you’ll end up earning pennies per day. The effort I’ve been putting into writing for other people has been more about my time and energy, not my creative juices.

Here’s the deal: when I write for someone else, I get 1.4 cents a word. It’s not the best payout in the world, but it is a great incentive to keep going. Write a 500 word article, get seven bucks. Rinse and repeat until you have a dollar figure you’re comfortable with. The ebook, on the other hand, was around 6,000 words. By the standards of freelancing pay, that’s $80. To date, I’ve made maybe $15 off that book.

Of course, the ebook’s at something of a disadvantage because I haven’t put much time at all into promoting my work. I do plan to do that someday, but I’ll either have to spend money (to buy ads) or put in a lot of unpaid time (to promote myself on various social media). I’m holding off on that course of action until I have at least two or three other stories ready to go.

I’m going to keep writing ebooks, of course, because I adore fiction. What I’m banking on now is the possibility that churning out prose for other people will train me to be a better author, one who can sit down and put words on the page every day instead of staring out the window for hours.

Double web page action!

I now have a website over at persephonerouet.webs.com. I like this blogger interface better, but the other site makes a mean author web page.

I'm going to keep this site active as a blog and post whenever I damn well feel like it. If you want to see my shiny author page, head over here.

On Self-Publishing

This article about self-publishing is pretty damn accurate.

via The Stranger

Don’t have a Kindle?

No problem! You can still read the stories I've published on Amazon.

 Amazon has apps for pretty much any device. You can download Kindle apps for the iPhone, iPod touch, Blackberry, iPad, Android and Windows Phone 7.

There are free readers available for PCs and Macs.

Amazon is also rolling out a cloud reader. It only works on Safari and Chrome right now, but it looks like they're working on making it compatible with other browsers.

Right now, the Kindle and Nook the only e-reader that are compatible with my published stories.
If you're a book reviewer and you need a review copy of one of my stories, I would be happy to provide it for free. Just email me at persephonerouet@gmail.com with the address of your review site and the format you need (Kindle or Nook). Promising to give me a nice review on Amazon will not get you a free copy, although it's very sweet of you to offer.

Hard Body

Here's a little snippet from Hard Body, one of the two stories in my very first collection.

Lillian and Valerie had played kissing games before, after dark in the dormitory or in the bathroom between classes. Those had been lighthearted adventures, full of giggling and whispering about what Ms. Fields, the school’s headmistress, might do if she caught them. Valerie knew what it felt like to be kissed lightly, hesitantly, by her friend; she was used to pecking Lillian softly on the lips and cheeks.

This time was different. There was a hunger in Lillian’s caresses that Valerie had never felt before. Her friend was sucking hungrily at her lower lip and pushing her tongue past her teeth. Valerie’s heart was pounding and her cheeks were growing warm. She wondered whether she was turning as red as Allen. She could not have resisted her friend’s embrace even if she wanted to. Lillian had always had a peculiar power over her.

Like what you've read? Why not buy the whole story today?

Now I'm officially a published author

On Amazon. Which still counts. Sort of.

Yeah, that's right. I have two deliciously naughty schoolgirl stories available on Amazon. Now you can read my dirty stories on your Kindle, your computer, or any device that can download the Kindle app. In a week or so, these titillating tales should be available on the Nook and Smashwords.

Go take a look now.

The Tawse

Here's a sexy little snippet of The Tawse, which is available on Amazon now.

Now the girl’s shoulders were tense and her feet were still. Good. She finally appreciated the gravity of the situation. “I am going to go easy on you,” said Ms. Fields. “Five strokes, that’s all.” Lillian sighed with relief at the word easy. She slumped forward, supporting her weight with her hands. Ms. Fields waited until the girl was relaxed, until she had forgotten what was coming, and then she swung the tawse as hard as she could.

The first hit was slightly off the mark. Both tails slapped against Lillian’s pale thighs. The girl gasped at the impact and fell forward, supporting her weight on her elbows. She lowered her head so far that her dark hair brushed the surface of the desk.

“That’s one,” said Ms. Fields. Lillian’s thighs were already reddening where the two leather strips had struck. The headmistress waited for the girl to steady herself before swinging the tawse again. This time her student was prepared, and her aim was steadier; both tails slapped the plaid skirt that covered Lillian’s ample rear. The girl drew in a deep breath, shuddered, and exhaled. She had risen on tiptoe as the leather connected, and her calves were trembling with the strain.

“Two,” said Ms. Fields.

It's only 99 cents!