So I just stumbled across Google Patents. There’s something oddly fascinating about really weird patents. Even the most obvious features are diagramed and labeled out in dubiously scientific terms. The minimalist diagrams are surprisingly eye-catching. And if you type in enough keywords and scroll through enough pages, you can find something so mind-bogglingly odd that you just have to share it with everyone you know.
The truly beautiful thing about patents is that each and every one of them was created by someone who thought this device had worth. Some inventor sketched and labeled and filled out forms and thought, yes, this is a valuable contribution to human ingenuity, and I need to patent it right away before someone else steals my idea.
(Picture and description are after the jump because they're not safe for work, unless you work in the US Patent Office)
Sometimes, those ideas change the world. Most of the time, they’re crazy—but a special kind of crazy, so sincere and charming that you want to watch a heartfelt indie documentary about the inventor.
US Patent US 2010/0087703 A1
Inventor: Pericles Gabrielidis
Most of Mr. Gabrielidis’s work is sports-related (“Tennis Exercise Aid”; “Racket with Improved String Pattern”). With “Sex Toy,” Pericles combines the pleasure of a marital aid with the steering of mountain bike. For some reason, there’s also a plastic bee involved. This toy appears to be designed for self-stimulation; one of the diagrams in the packet is an unexpectedly charming cross-section of a masturbator, dildo fully inserted, holding onto the tiny handlebars like she’s riding the word’s first X-rated Big Wheel.
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